We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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