My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im at strip club and am horny
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am naked and annoyed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
