my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
