If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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