remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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