his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
