i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
