He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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