Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
