He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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