I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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