Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
