Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
