im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
