i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
