$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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