# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
