Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
