He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
