I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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