I can text with my tongue
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
