I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
