Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
