dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
