"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
