you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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