only if we run a train.
done.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize