Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dear god my vagina.
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