oh god the rape fog is back!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
