he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
