doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
