Sponge bath it is.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
