i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
