I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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