We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
