I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
