True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
