I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
