i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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