Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
