I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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