You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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