Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I pour the whiskey from now on
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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