Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
