In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
