i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
