it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
