This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
