She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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