she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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