It's Friday. Sex?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
